Those are the moments I will learn from; those are the moments I will bounce back from; those are the moments when I look at the course of my life I will say it was at that point I had a choice. I had a choice to give in, I had a choice to give up. But I chose not to, I chose to push forward to persevere, to push ahead.
I will put away the fear leads to doubt, to uncertainty, to anger. My fear leads me to doubt myself. I doubt my abilities, my preparation, my skills, my place. My doubt turns to belief and all the sudden I believe that I’m not where I’m supposed to be, I believe that I am not good enough to do what it is I’m supposed, to do that I don’t have the abilities to do what needs to be done.
Fear leads to uncertainty, uncertainty may seem a little bit like doubt but it’s nothing like it. Because now it’s not just that I doubt my place, but now I’m uncertain about myself. I’m uncertain of who I am, uncertain of why I’m here. Doubt revolves around the situation; uncertainty revolves around who I am. I’m uncertain because I begin to look in the mirror and I don’t recognize myself. I begin to see how I respond to situations and I don’t recognize myself by my behavior. I begin to get into the haze as someone that I am not.
When doubt and uncertainty take hold in my life it is then that fear turns to anger. That I am no longer acting for the good of myself, and for the good of those around me. But now it becomes a selfish nature. Now it becomes about making sure that my expectations are met, that my needs are guaranteed, my desires are the only things that matter in the world. They become self focused as opposed to others focus. As opposed to how I want to live my life. Anger begins to manifest and take hold of my life. I begin to shut others out, even including those close to me. Especially those close to me.
But I will reject fear because I am enough (thank you Amy Potts). Because I am prepared enough because I have put in the work. Because I am someone who seeks to benefit those around him, because I am someone who seeks to take care of myself. Because I am someone who focuses on love, focuses on teaching, focuses on my beliefs, on my convictions, on my realities. I will not allow the fantasyland of fear to take hold in my mind, to wrap its tentacles around my heart and to squeeze until even a beat seems unrealistic. There may be difficult times in difficult situations. There maybe moments when I fall short, moments when I fail, moments when I slip up but all is not lost in those moments.
No, fear tells me to give up, fear tells me that those moments make me a failure but those moments only make me stronger. Those are the moments I will learn from; those are the moments I will bounce back from; those are the moments when I look at the course of my life I will say it was at that point I had a choice. I had a choice to give in, I had a choice to give up. But I chose not to, I chose to push forward, to persevere, to move ahead. I chose to allow that work to finally be complete in me so that way there would be nothing lacking so that way when the day comes then I will be tested again that I will be ready, that I will be prepared, I will be lacking nothing in that test. And when the refiners fire is flickering over me it will not find any impurities and it will not find any faults. Instead what will find is someone who can stand firm in the face of trial and firm in the face of tribulation. It will find someone who can stand firm and guide others through that fire that they have been through. Guide others through those tribulations in those difficult times.
I will put aside fear. Fear will not hold me any longer.